I find it disturbing you feel you should defend a spoofer, and even more so that you get likes on this post. If your friend is being refused to enter an EX-lobby cause hes spoofing, he is obviously bothering people. He should stop doing it.
As for OP: If you sit at the EX-raid location and just tap the gym you can see if people are in the lobby. If theres a good number in you could try to join. This might cost you the 45 minutes the raid lasts, and if they do a closed lobby youre screwed im afraid :(.
It seems the region you play in has a very poor mentallity towards cheating (spoofing) and i guess since Niantic doesnt do anything about it, there isnt anything you can do about it either. To save yourself frustration you might have to quit the game indeed.
You could try playing Ingress, that uses location and the real world. But i doubt it will be better to play for you if spoofers are such a big problem in your area.